I wouldn’t have minded school if they taught you important things like how to have good sex and what brand of wine is the best… But for some reason they were hell bent on teaching me algebra - Ben Mitchell
My limits know me well enough to stay out of my way. - Ben Mitchell
You could say I’m so manly I don’t even allow manly stereotypes to influence my actions - Ben Mitchell
By passing your GCSEs you prove that you’re not an idiot… But by passing your A levels you prove that you’re smart - Ben Mitchell
All women are beautiful; it's society who’s ugly. - Ben Mitchell
Losing your virginity is a lot like when you find out that Santa doesn’t exist… First you’re slightly disappointed, and then you’re happy because you’re in on the secret - Ben Mitchell
Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of retirement, I feel it my duty to teach you everything I’ve learnt about love, so listen closely. Love is like… That’s as far as I’ve gotten I’m afraid. - Ben Mitchell
No religion can fully accept another religion, that’s the one belief all religions share - Ben Mitchell
Hating Britain is a fundamental part of being British - Ben Mitchell
How fickle is my young male heart as it avidly jumps from love to love - Ben Mitchell
I hope I can never trust my wife. If I trust her it means I know her. If I know her it means I understand her. If I understand her it means I can control her, and if I can control her it would make her boring and uninteresting… Dear god I hope I can never trust my wife… - Ben Mitchell
The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don’t worry girls, I hit him. - Ben Mitchell